But there are some warning signs. Parents might notice kids: acting differently or seeming anxious not eating, not sleeping well, or not doing the things they usually enjoy seem moodier or more easily upset than usual avoiding certain situations like taking the bus to school If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find ways to bring up the issue.
What Can Parents Do? Advice for Kids Parents can help kids learn how to deal with bullying if it happens. Here are some other ways kids can improve the situation and feel better: Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker if nobody else is around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess — wherever the bully is.
Offer to do the same for a friend. Hold the anger. It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths, or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to keep their face calm until they are clear of any danger smiling or laughing may provoke the bully.
Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cellphone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you. Tell an adult. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.
Bullies tend to pick on kids who don't stick up for themselves. Don't bully back. Don't hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it's dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You're also likely to get in trouble.
It's best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult. Don't show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you're upset? Try distracting yourself counting backwards from , spelling the word 'turtle' backwards, etc. Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and talk about what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying.
Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they're afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.
In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.
Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others.
They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers. The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. We build better family lives together. Chat to us online. Bullying Spot the signs If your child is being bullied How to talk to your child about bullying Bullying disabled child What to do if your child is a bully Bullying and suicidal feelings Bullying out of school hours Racist bullying How bullying affects children Why children bully Younger children.
What to do if your child is being bullied Estimated read: 7 minutes No parent likes to think about their child being bullied or, even worse, being a bully but the fact is, more than half of all children are involved — either as a perpetrator, victim, or witness. Key points: Listen without getting angry or upset. Put your own feelings aside, sit down and listen to what your child is telling you so you can give them the best support Never tell your child to hit or shout names back. Supporting your child It is important to try and listen without getting angry or upset.
Dealing with your feelings You may feel anger, hurt, guilt, helplessness, or fear when you hear that your child is experiencing bullying. Getting support from the school All schools are legally required to have an anti-bullying policy which provides guidance on their obligations and what support they can offer. What to do if things don't improve Keep a diary and write down every incident as soon as possible after it happens.
Further resources It may help to chat to other parents on our forums to find out how they are dealing with this issue within their family life. This page was updated on September Donate now For support call our confidential helpline on or email us at askus familylives. My now 11 yr old daugher is 2-ish semesters into middle school 6th grade.
She's crazy "advanced" physically She looks all of I warned her that people from other elementary schools that came into that middle school are going to see her as a target because of her 'physical nature' I think those were my words.
One day in early december I was called up to the school because she pushed a boy to the floor. I add to this Even tho my examples are way outside the norm, that's kinda the subject here. Realistically, Rule 2 is Typically, you can count on the person or facilities in charge to make things happen as needed.
But when they don't, this set of rules just works. It respects socially assumed rules of order and hierarchy, and it's respectful. However, it doesn't lean exclusively on rules. Because the bottom line is that if the system doesn't work for you, then all bets are off and you need alternatives even if you have to create them. In both my kids cases, when the system didn't work for them directly, it worked for them indirectly.
When my son cracked that kid with a cot: We went to pick him up and the administrator had him in punishment. The person explained what happened, and I turned to him and smiled.
Did you tell the person in charge. I could then say to the admin "What do you expect from me? Your person clearly wasn't concerned enough to make it stop so my son had little choice. My daughter: some boy grabbed her chest, and she simply floored him. According to her, she had this kid in a couple different classes. He only ever messed with her in that class because the teacher was inattentive read: probably too old. My response to the vice principle was "and what's happening to the other kid?
She wasn't in trouble from me for defending herself, not to mention that she'd told that teacher several times and she didn't fix it. I think she got detention or something, which I disputed, and it was dropped. I don't advocate being violent, in all of my examples violence was a last resort. But you know what else it is?
It's speaking the bully's language. In the summer after 6th grade, my family moved. During 8th grade we moved back to the same area, but I was in jr high and went to a completely different school in the same district. My first day back at school, a kid in 4th hour asked me "were you the kid that threw a desk at Dewey Flowers? My sons interaction was in june about 3 wks into the summer. The rest of the summer he had no problems from that kid or any of the other bully types. He also got a different provider.
My daughter and that other kid were moved to separate sides of the classroom. But, like magic, all her girl problems went away too. I suspect she won't have any more problems all the way thru HS. Bullies don't give a single shit about the rules. And when faced with someone as strong as them, mentally as well as physically, who shows that they're not going to put up with it, the bullies go away. It's not about "you're not as big a target", which gives some manner of win to the bully it's about showing that the world doesn't revolve around the bully.
Usually, you can follow rules as long as needed. But at some point, rules might not be able to define how to do whatever it is that you need to do. At that point, creating more rules doesn't do anything but put a fence on your ability to get things done.
That's what the phrase "think outside the box" is all about. And when it comes to bullies, there's really only a couple of things that they truly understand. More rules isn't one of them. Just like that kid in the youtube video that picked up the scrawny bully and threw his ass to the ground before walking away. If you're a parent and you haven't seen it, you need to go find it. To the answer givers in this thread: If walk-off kid was your kid, would you have chastised him for not following school rules about violence?
About not taking it up the chain to the adults in charge? I wouldn't have. As a matter of fact, I'd be all up in the case of the school admin. And guess what: that kind of thing happens every day. That one just happened to be on video. And while it's not a preferred solution, your kid is going to imagine it and consider it. What they need to know that when all else has failed, when it's the only option, that it's still an option. Which, in a subconscious sense, is kinda like you not failing them as your words ring thru their heads when they're sitting in the principles office for knocking a kid to the ground.
Again, I'm not advocating fighting or violence. I'm advocating following the rules until they run out. This response is geared towards younger children, say under 9 or 10 years old.
The situation for teenagers is very different I think. Definitely talk to the other parents if that is an option. If its not an option for example, if you child is picked on at school definitely talk to the teachers.
You also want to give your child a way to stand up for themselves, and that doesn't mean fighting. Teach them to tell the other kids what they are feeling. Teach your child that if these steps don't work, it is time to walk away from the situation and tell an adult parent or teacher.
First give your child a chance to respond, but feel free to intervene if things aren't going well. You need to communicate with your child's caregiver so they will be equipped to notice the bullying and deal with it.
And you need your child to know to tell them when things get out of hand. We all want to protect our children, and on some level we can.
But on another level, we can't shelter our kids from all situations where they may be bullied or picked on, and if we try we risk smothering their own sense of individual worth and growth.
If you know your child is being bullied in a situation outside your control, I'd certainly recommend addressing the issue with those in whose control the situation is at least ostensibly.
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